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11 June 2011 @ 03:12 am
[FIC] Die/Shinya - Warmth - 1/1  
Title: Warmth
Chapter: 1/1
Genre: fluff, very slight angst, is pointless a genre?
Rating: G
Pairings: Die/Shinya
Warning: I didn't check this at all, honestly.. and it's 3 AM.
Disclaimer: I don't own Dir en grey, as much as I'd like to.

It was happening again. Shinya's body was warming up, his heart burning and feeling like it was going to jump out of his chest. His eyes started to well up with tears and clouded his vision of the only man he would ever love walking into the room.

"Ah, Kaoru-kun, I brought food!"

Shinya sighed, feeling the warmth in his chest turn back to its usual ice. Why, after all this time, did he still think that when Die walked into a room he would gravitate towards Shinya like he always wanted to do to the guitarist? By this time he knew he should realize it was a one-way love, and that he should blame himself for pushing Die away in the early years. They had known each other for almost 10 years and Shinya could still remember the moment he pushed Die away, after their 5th year anniversary live, when he told him that he'd never fall for him and he was absolutely, one-hundred-percent straight.

Of course, that was total bullshit, and the drummer regretted it as soon as he said it. Since then he'd tried to make a show of his relationships with other men, bringing them to the studio and lives, but it always backfired because he had never had a relationship where he wasn't treated horribly, and that was plain to see whenever he attempted to 'show off' what he thought was a normal relationship.

Die had even told him once that he didn't deserve to be treated that way, but Shinya just rolled his eyes and walked away.

Now, every time he saw the long-haired beauty that would all flash through his mind. The first two or three years they knew each other he had let Die in completely, making him his whole universe and letting him in like he'd never let anyone before. Die never did anything wrong, he had actually, now that Shinya thought about it, showed the drummer what a relationship should be and introduced him to the warmth that has spread through his chest since.

So why did Shinya push him away? This was something he'd ask himself every day for the rest of his life, but he'd always blame it on everyone who hurt him. He was so sure that Die would hurt him that he had to push him away as soon as he got too close.. and to Shinya, too close was the first time Die had kissed him. It was actually the first time anyone had kissed him, the first time he'd let someone get that close without shutting them out, but he panicked that night in Die's arms. He let his thoughts get to him, the feeling that Die's arms wouldn't always be there made his whole body go cold and all he could do in that instant was decide to push Die away, curling up on his own side of the bed and trying to get the warmth back in his body.. but for him it was too late, he'd already locked it out.

Now all he felt like doing was curling back up on the couch in the studio he was sitting on alone, watching Die hand out the containers of Chinese food he'd brought back from his trip to the restaurant. He watched Die's long fingers, his thin arms.. even when he was just doing everyday things he was the most gorgeous being Shinya had ever seen.

And then Die was coming towards him, balancing what seemed like a lot more than Shinya had ordered for himself, and before Shinya had time to look away Die was right in front of him, handing him all of the warm boxes and sitting next to him, his own legs pressed against the side of Shinya's. "Let's eat together, today.." Die smiled, causing Shinya to almost cry again from just looking at him. He silently nodded, managing to smile back slightly and concentrating on his food.

A few minutes later, he looked at Die next to him. He wasn't talking to Kaoru and Toshiya about girls, wasn't trying to come up with a new joke or actually writing.. he was just looking at Shinya, dark eyes softened and trailing over every part of the drummer's face slowly. Shinya was too busy looking at those eyes to notice that Die took the chopsticks out of his hand and replaced them with his own hand, the soft skin Shinya hadn't felt in a long time.

"Die.. why?" Shinya whispered, leaning slightly against Die and resting his head on the broad shoulder.

"Because I don't want either of us to be alone anymore."
 
~
 
A/N: I'm not really sure if this was the right place to end this story.. actually I'm not sure if it ever should have been started because it feels so pointless xD But I was about to sleep and thought of this so I figured I should just post it~ I hope it's not too bad^^
 
 
 
♡mood: contentcontent
♡music: Let's Get It On - w-inds.
 
 
 
Reketrebn: Aoigorgeousirmavep777 on June 11th, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC)
AWWWWWWWWWW DAIDAIIIIIII<333333
this was so sweet and real and omg and Shinyaaa~~~
ah god GOD!!!!!
you really write Dainya the best<333

and sorry for such a late comment:(
miruku: Aoitotchi_ai on June 11th, 2011 11:12 pm (UTC)
afsdjhkjhg<33
i'm so glad you liked it~
and you saying that i write them the best means a lot when i think you write them the best xD<333
and don't worry about it being late, i'm so happy that you always comment on them anyway c: it keeps me writing even if i don't do it much<3
kvickakvicka on July 21st, 2011 07:15 am (UTC)
awww <3...such stories always make me feel warm inside *.*
btw. for me you both write the best Dainya :3
juste une noctambulerheakurokawa on November 25th, 2011 01:48 pm (UTC)
this was nice and i loved Die in this, because he seems mature and understanding and because i loved his last line and the way his shoulder is broad and gives Shinya the security he needs and denied himself out of fear.

to me Die seems balanced while Shinya still needs to grow up, to learn to live with fear and use it as a catalyst, a silent companion towards new things.

Shinya seems so frightened of everything that he keeps on taking the wrong steps, but Die seems like a beacon of hope and stability, even though it was and is him that brings out all these intense feelings in Shinya, he seems like he's the one who knows (he's the one who tells Shinya he doesn't deserve to be treated this way), infinitely wiser, mature... he really seems years older than Shinya. i really loved Die in this.